break down

I always wonder what it is that makes the two years so challenging. Most people think its the lack of running water, or electricity, or decent roads, or electrical appliances but I dont think its any of these. I think if you were to put any volunteer out in a serene, peaceful, isolated mountain alone, with a quiet stream to fish in, a cabin with none of the amenities, they would find life extremely easy and peaceful. People spend a lot of money to have this oneness with nature. I think people complain about the lack of these luxuries because they dont know exactly what to put their finger upon. There's something hard about being here, but perhaps its so many things, its difficult to know where to begin.
Its not about the water
Its not about the frequent loss of electricity
Its not about the terrible roads
Its not about the kenmore washing machine
These things just add to what it is.
Its the fact that each person has asked for something on the way to get our tomatoes and we cannot help them.
Its because we have just finished a meeting with 50 orphaned HIV children and we cannot fix them.
Its because despite sacrificing our American life we still live better than all our neighbors.
Its because people love us for being white, not any of our merits.
Its because the love and praise we receive in unearned.
Its because we get attention as if we are celebrities, except none of us have our own security guard, or big fence to provide an escape.
Its because we will never fit in here.
Its because we dont understand the language.
Its because you see 10 children that clearly all cannot be cared for by their mothers
Its because there are no answers
Its because the corruption steals from their own people
Its because people are selfish
Its because people have given up
Its because we are far away from all of our loved ones.
Its because we want to be able to do more but we soon learn the futility and limited scope of our efforts.

Its not about the physical hardships. Its about the mental ones we deal with day in and day out. Living like Thoreau is one thing, living amongst anguish and things out of our control is another.

Just want to say well done to all the volunteers throughout the world. You dont see easy things everyday. It takes real courage to live amongst all that pain for two years.